There’s a legend in our village, I don’t know how old it is. Sure it was an old story when I was a boy. There was this great city that stood on this very spot. No one knows any longer the name of that city, it was so long ago, but we know that it was called “The First of the Great Cities of the South.” That’s a very strange thing because, as we recon it, this village is in the northern part of the country. Continue reading “The Legend of the White Gate”
Month: April 2002
Deep The Well
When my sons were first born, I thought I should be a happy man. I mean: five! Who could not help but be a happy man?! My darling Rebecca, she gave birth to five boys all at once. Well, not all at once: it took her all the night. But right in a row, she gave them. Five to me! I thought I should burst! But my darling Rebecca, after giving me so much, she gave up the last thing she had left, and she died before I even had her in my arms. And then, again, I thought I should burst. I could not hold back from weeping. Five sons or no, how could I ever survive without her?
Five sons! That’s a big job now. And not a woman in sight! That’s another one. And plus, it’s not easy, living as we do. I’m not a wealthy man, though I’m not a poor one. But it’s hard, being who we are, and surrounded by so many people who don’t know. We have to hide it. No one must ever know the magic I have inside of me, or the secrets I’ve been entrusted with. No one must ever know about the Well. Continue reading “Deep The Well”
Sullen Tears
Sunlight streams down empty faces
Crying in the dirt
“I’ve been hurt”
Daylight shines in silent mockery of tears
“Who told you to shine today?
I wanted rain”
No one notices the rain is gone
The blood is dried
Pain has faded, yet we cry
Lovesick
There is no one who is beautiful enough
To fit the needs of someone
Who has looked too long at You.
Why do I keep looking out for love
When I know that there is no one
Who’s as wonderful as You?
Lord, bind my heart in brokenness
Stir me on to peace
Wrap me up in linen, that I may
Resign myself to living
Here with You forever
Loving no one else but You
I have given myself over
To the mercy of your hand
If you have seen the way that Love has gone
Lead me to that Rock that’s Higher
That I too may be poured out
as a drink offering to You
Fresh blood mixed with the water of my tears
I am broken… for love
I am living… for You
You are what I’m living for, my Love
Keep my wandring heart from looking
To the left or to the right
Wrap my heart in brokenness that I may
See my love tonight
You are . . . what I . . . long for
Every . . . time I . . . close my . . . eyes
Keep me patient as I wait for you, my love
I Was Born For This
I was born for the sake of running
That my footbeats would fall to the sound of Your rhythm
I was born for the sake of breathing
That I could send Your wind
I was born for the sake of living
That my crystal heart could shine
With the candle that You set burning
That every heartbeat would pulsate
With living fire
The glory of God has come
I was born for this
Straight Paths
The lines have fallen
In pleasant places
My path has drawn up
Right again
Praise the Lord, for He is faithful
His mercy endures forever
He draws our pathways
From the foundation of the earth
And though we stray and tarry
He draws us right again
Random Thoughts of Joy
building burdens on our own backs
we groan under distressing weight
till someone comes and takes it from us
we do not know where we have been
Sitting dismayed at the sacrifice
required to enter in
We weep when we do not realize
Someone’s already been
What I must give up
Is what is not good for me
What I must at all costs carry
is the gold I do not recognize
Nothing strains like the burden
of a backward vision
My life would be joy for me
if I could get my world turned right
God grant me grace
to see my own sinning
my problem is not my pain
but my misapprehension
*The whole earth is filled
With the Glory of God*
-Is 6:3
Satisfaction
You do not protect me
From the pain of my life’s troubles
You lead me in the way of danger
That I may cling to You
I cling to You relentlessly
Like a weaned child to its mother
Not pulling, sucking, striving . . .
I am at peace
You are my Peace
When there is every sign of danger
You are my Satisfaction
When Wanting comes my way
I trust in You
My Shepherd-Friend
Trust
You know how I try to be
I wear my heart on the outside of my breast
That anyone who wants can see and criticize it
That any man may wound me
That, as best I can, I may be touched by anyone
That my Father may be pleased
My heart is not my own
To protect as others do
I do not know the way of it
It belongs unto my King
To use as He sees fit
May my meditations yet be pleasing
Unto You
Theometry
Some would say that there are no absolutes, but I say that there are several. And we are fast approaching them. But the Infinite has placed us in an infinite universe, and in an infinte space, an absolute cannot be a place, but has to be a direction. Even a black holes is imagined by most to be a hole that leads to some other place. Absolute zero is defined as the temperature at which no molecular movement is possible, but even 0º Kelvin may not be the lowest temperature, but simply the lowest temperature we can measure. How can we define a temperature where there is less that zero molecular movement, or how can we define a place where all matter and energy go to when they simply cease to exist? If a black hole is a doorway into another universe, then beyond 0º Kelvin is the same door.
Imagine a grid where you draw a line and say, “This is the ultimate West.” Could you not draw a line, one step over, which is even further West? Draw another line, even further West. Where is Absolute in this? Now draw a ray, pointing West, perpendicular to the other lines. Here is your Absolute. And place a little sign: “In this direction lies Infinite West.”
Enter the Celtic knot of Trinity, each end interwoven with the other in a self-subsisting ebb and flow of sacrifice. Each end lives for the other, yet which end is the beginning? Here is a weave that locks your eyes and holds your mind transfixed, drawing you into a sacrificial existence for the One True God. From this perspective, Trinity has no point or focus outside itself. His purpose fulfils His own existence; He is there to be Himself: complete, utterly Whole. But twist the diagram a little and see how Trinity views Himself. You find you’ve been looking from a distance at a cross-section of a thread that goes on forever. A little sign stands by: “In this direction lies Infinite Good.”
What is Holy? He is both the path and the promise. There, just beyond the second bend lies the point you thought you couldn’t quite see beyond. And even though, from this vantage, you can see it, you know you have no measure for the world that lies beyond. Looking just before that point, you seem to hear a voice: “If I am lifted up, I will draw all men unto me.” You are gazing down the certain course into a black hole.
You are drifting in a very lucky place. From where you stand, your course is not yet set. You can choose. You must either head towards that door into the other world, and pass through that point where you must die a kind of death, and every part of you that is not bound for that world will be torn from you and flung as far from you as East is from this very definite West. And beyond that point I cannot imagine. Or, you must run as far from that thread as possible, until you reach that condition which plays “Absolute Zero” to this “Black Hole.” Another kind of door into that same world, where you die a different kind of death and become so frozen that not even the most miniscule change is possible. And beyond that point, again, I cannot imagine.
You have some time, but one thing is certain:
You        Must       Choose.
neumatikos 