Valerie and I have been discussing how we want to run our marriage for some time now, and the subject has come up recently of “date nights.” Valerie really wants to have a weekly date night. My response has been somewhat apathetic. I’m not opposed to going out (good heaven’s no!), and I see the argument that you don’t want to get caught up in the day-to-day of things and start ignoring the happiness of your family, but… I guess my reaction to having a scheduled date night is something like having an adult bed time. Yeah, I should go to bed at a decent hour, but a bed time?
Now, [TulipGirl](http://www.tulipgirl.com/mt/archives/000549.html) has a post up on some other problems with the idea of a date night. It’s pretty balanced too.
The problem isn’t with the custom, it’s some of the ideas that come with it. I’d be very happy with a “family night,” a nightly devotion, and any other number of “us” activities, probably all of which we’re going to use. An individualized family is no family at all, and just being in the same room together, no matter what we’re doing goes a long way.
neumatikos 
“if any man lack wisdom [and in this case I think you do] let him ask.”
There’s a simple solution to the situation — die. I suggest you both lay what you want
at the cross and ask the Lord for what He wants. If you ask Him, He will answer. 🙂
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I spent the weekend trying to figure out what your comment meant. I think you think that we’re having a big to-do about the issue.
We’re not. We’re just discussing. Mostly I’m just processing the idea. It’s the idea of scheduling a weekly date that’s throwing me for a loop. Nobody ever told me that was the thing to do while *dating*, let alone while married, so I’m having a hard time working through the idea that doing something while you’re married that you didn’t do while you were dating is going to make your marriage feel more like it did when you were dating.
Not that we won’t pray. But the discussion really isn’t that intense.
KB
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that’s good to know. I didn’t so much think you were having
a big to-do as much as I know your tendency to refuse to
compromise once you’re convinced you’re right. Somethings
aren’t worth fighting for.
The reason you “schedule” date nights [not that we do but I
understand the process] is that once you’re married it becomes
very easy [especially for men — who have now acheieved the goal,
have stalked, bagged & hung that trophy] to “forget”. When you
are dating no one has to tell you to date….you want tofind time
to get away just the two of you. When you’re married…you are always
just the two of you ….but the dynamics have changed and it’s not the
same and usually if you don’t make time there won’t be time.
Still I think the best advice in any conflict –is die
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I’m just waiting for the conflict before I die…
I haven’t exactly been set on a position. I’m just just leery of administering medicine before I see the disease. So my current position is mostly a “wait and see” approach: If it turns out we’re not getting enough together time after we get married, *then* we can institute a schedule.
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