I don’t know many things that I’m certain of, but of this one I’m sure: that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. It has been an embarrassingly difficult past couple of months. Probably since the moment I decided I wanted to go to seminary, I have run into so many complications, necessary errands, emergencies, meetings, and general hoopla standing in the way of getting that application done that at times, I didn’t know whether to submit to God, or resist the devil. Am I supposed to go to seminary or not? Recently, though, I found out that my path has exactly two potential courses:
In the first one, I give up on going to seminary, or put it off for an indefinite amount of time, say until I feel like it. The second option is that I pray to the God of grace and mercy and He makes a way for me to get this application done before they decide it’s too late for me to get in this semester. The crisis comes because I’m poor, and my family doubly so: I discovered recently that they changed the grace period between when you get out of school and when you start paying your loans from 9 months to 6 months. This means that I start getting a bill for 250-some-odd dollars each month starting in November, instead of January, like I was expecting. The job I have now, and am likely to have in November doesn’t pay enough for me to make that kind of payment and buy food at the same time. There are exactly two alternatives to making that gigantic ferocious payment: The first one is that I get back in school, and pronto. The second is that I apply for some little thing called forbearance.
In plain English, forbearance means “to put up with.” In law, it means “the act of a creditor who refrains from enforcing a debt when it falls due.” In theology, it describes exactly the state of a person who is unrepentant of his sins and hasn’t gone to hell yet. As I see it, this means that I have either the option of going to seminary or requesting that the US government publicly proclaim me as an unconverted sinner. Gotta love those black-and-white scenarios.
Please pray for me. Today I will be finishing up my (quite tardy) seminary application. The fear of brimstone prods me on.
Nevertheless, I really feel that I’ve grown in the past few months. I think I’ve regained a lot of ground. I’m starting to act a whole heck of a lot more like myself. I’m remembering the callings that He put upon my heart a very long time ago, and I’m remembering that the God of all things will never let me go. He is stuborner than I am, so I am sure to fulfill everything that he has planned for me. So I will say it has been a very good (if gauntlet-like) time for me.
In other news, my sister is getting married in slightly less than two weeks. My friend is duly jealous. My parents are duly anxious. Ces and Jason aren’t telling what’s going on in their thick little noggins. Me? I’m broke. I had to buy two plane tickets and a wedding present.