“Well Jon, it sounds like you’re depressed.”

“No kidding.”

“Well, it’s important to say it. When I was a kid, I used to get 2-3 colds a year, but I was raised to insist that my sinuses were just sensitive to air pressure changes. But you know, colds have a set of typical symptoms, things like a runny nose and a stuffy head, and they typically last 7-10 days. My air pressure reactions were remarkably similar to colds. It was really helpful for me when I realized I had a cold and not some bizarre genetic maladaption.”

“Well, that’s nice about your cold and all, but what does that have to do with me?”

“Depression is a lot like the common cold. It has a definable set of symptoms, tends to last a certain period of time, and it happens to a lot of people. Most importantly, though, it’s something that happens to you, not who you are.”

“Um, ‘kay…”

“The good news is that while you can’t cure the common cold, it is possible to cure depression.”

“It is?”

“Yep. Good to know it’s not who you are, huh?”

“I guess.”

“The bad news is that I can tell you exactly what causes a cold. To find out what’s causing your depression is going to take a little work, and we can’t fix it until we know what’s wrong.”

“Okay, how do we do that?”

“Hey, “we.” Good attitude. I’m glad this is something you’re willing to work with me to fix.”

“Yeah it’s something I want to fix. I feel like a total loser.”

“Well, that’s the thing we’re going to fix.”

“So, how does this work?”

“As far as I know, there are three major factors in depression: One, your life really sucks. You have no money; you have no friends; you have nothing that gives you meaning and value. If that’s the case, our job is to figure out how to stop the suckage, and we can do that. The second option is that your life *doesn’t* totally suck, but for some reason, you think that it does. If that’s the case, our job is to figure out why you think that, and see if we can work toward providing the appropriate reality check. The third option is that you know your life is just great, but you still *feel* depressed. In that case, we need to look into biological factors. Something may have happened to throw off the chemical balance in the brain pan. You’re running on 10 w 30 oil when your system really needs 10-50. And we’ll see what we can do to make those adjustments. Does that sound alright?”

“Uh, I guess so.”

“Great! So: how’s life treating you, Jon?”

Author: KB French

Formerly many things, including theology student, mime, jr. high Latin teacher, and Army logistics officer. Currently in the National Guard, and employed as a civilian... somewhere

One thought on “Depressed”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: