Bruce Baugh has some interesting observations (here) about different approaches to privilege and disrespect. Unfortunately, they’re framed in a way that tries to be too universal, and in the process manages to be judgmental.
Two groups: people who think prejudice is an intentional, wicked act or disposition, and people who think prejudice just happens, like accidentally closing a door on somebody’s fingers. For the first group, an accusation of some kind of *-ism is either a grave insult to an otherwise well-meaning person, or a vile sin to be expunged immediately. For the first group, all that really matters is how quick you are to resolve the situation.
So far, so good. But the way he frames those categories… ! Wow, prejudiced much? Yup, the “big deal” category of people are all alike, and in a bad way.
In reality, both the prejudiced and the prejudiced against use both categories pretty fluidly, depending on the situation.