You know how I try to be
I wear my heart on the outside of my breast
That anyone who wants can see and criticize it
That any man may wound me
That, as best I can, I may be touched by anyone
That my Father may be pleased
My heart is not my own
To protect as others do
I do not know the way of it
It belongs unto my King
To use as He sees fit
May my meditations yet be pleasing
Unto You
Would you believe to know me
That once I was lost
Would you believe to know me
That I gave up everything
At the foot of the cross
Would you believe to know me
That once I was the blackest sinner
Stained with every crime
Would you believe to know me
That Jesus saved my life
I was destitute and hopeless
Waiting for the end
I was crouching in my pain and turmoil
Longing for a friend
And as I sat there hopeless
Clinging to my shame and guilt
I saw a promise rising – Risked everything to grab it –
And now I stand here broken
Would you believe to know me
That I could live?
Jonathan leaned on Jesus’ breast
And breathed in out a sigh
And on his friend’s behest, he asked
The question that no other could get by.
And Jesus spoke no mystery
No story did he tell
And though plain, ‘twas secretly
So none would know, save those who know him well.
Mirriam rose when she was bid
And came before her Lord.
She said in quiet, a few still words
He had already heard before.
And Jesus wept, cried bitterly
At the pain that he had caused
He saw her heart, that loved him dearly
And knew no other law.
The others left.
The Magdelene, she stayed
And though she shuddered silently
Her heart was not afraid.
A gardener’s voice:
The victor spoke her name
He put off triumph that he might touch
The life he died to save
A woman lived in Jesus’ time. A whore
(Some called her so), caught in flagrante, dragged
By all her former lovers, to the chant
Of cries for stoning, to the temple door
Where Jesus sat. He looked at them and wrote
Some figures in the dirt, and asked which one
Was not the one who’d used her for his fun.
Her demons left her then. She stood with hope
And followed Him–believed him when he said
He’d die a shameful death, and planned a way
To give him all the honor due his name.
So, with an ointment, to his meal she fled,
And braved the stares of men who’d called her ‘dox‘,
Then stood and broke her alabaster box.
Few people know where I have gone
But they may see it when they look on sea
Or when the clouds come misty down
upon the open green
But the ocean portal doesn’t always open
And the fog sometimes oppresses
instead of setting free
It’s a window, not a doorway
into the place I love to be
But I can go when e’er I want
Just lay my heart aside
Spread wide my arms and I am lifted
To a place beyond eternity
I hear some people talk of heaven
like the gulls that cry on shore
They believe they know the water
but the dark eyed fish knows more
I saw Mercy coming in
Standing at the door
She smiled at me
She said
“I’m so glad I found you
I know someone who’s been
Looking for you.”
Every time I’ve almost won
Something comes and conquers me
It almost seems as if I’m fighting
An enemy inside of me
Now I’ve found the answer
I have seen it in His eyes
My freedom doesn’t come from fighting
But from being one with Christ
There is something in the name of Jesus
That washes every doubt.
Watching all my fears and troubles fading
As His Spirit turns me inside out.
There is beauty in the pow’r of Jesus
As He changes old to new
Victory is found in giving
All my troubles to Divine View
I know that I’ll be found in You
Resting in your care
When all of my life has faded
And I place my feet on Jacob’s stair
you build me right
by waterspouts and diamonds
My root goes down.
The crooked way, it breaks me
as I bend ’round my borders.
But soon I will have straightened them
by the strength that you have given me
I have seen the water’s edge
and know that I am not forsaken
He who makes the sun to rise
has spread His banner over me
I know I will see the spring
And bear my fruit in season
For I have been planted by a sure hand
Whose seasons waver not.
Your sons You build like mighty trees
You daughters like marble colonnade
Who has seen the beauty of Your children
Like the temple builder?
I separated myself from you
Like East is far from West
But You rose up and ran after me
On the wings of the dawn
I ran till my breath was raw
And smiling You came after me
Surely by nightfall He will capture me. . .
I can’t wait that long.
I will turn my head
To hear the voice of a Lover
I will turn my heart
To feel the heartbeat of Another
I will turn around
Stand stockstill in my place
I will lift my hands
In pure surrender.
Till You come rushing over me!
Till You have captured me!
Till my eyes are wet with tears!
Till my mouth is worn from kisses!
neumatikos 