Dreams Come Up

Hurled into a sea of doubt
The patent swimmer waits
Til every breath is terminated
Dreams come up, the final breaths
Of drowning men, bursting to the surface
In strange unrealistic shapes
And when they break, they vanish
Though they lie forever
On the horizon of the deep
They are seen and heard no more

Then, confident in something invisible, but
Just as real and more expansive than
The ocean, the swimmer springs with hidden strength
Breaking through the surface of the deep

He gasps and drags down hope
Forcing the insubstantial into him
Then lying on his back he grasps
Imagination, and begins to swim

Plan

There is a short list of words that do not describe me. Regular, for one. And organized. Steady, stable, organized.

Don’t get me wrong. I do accomplish things. And you can usually count on me to do whatever it was you asked me to. Just not exactly when I said I would. I have this incredible incapacity to do things at a regular pace. I do everything all at once, or not at all. Writing, for instance. One day, I may get a short story and three poems, and then, for the next week, nothing. Or I’ll get a song and never bother to write it down.

So, this is my excuse for not writing but once last week: I’m not lazy, just irregular. It’s all in me head, these big plans for my little website, but it’s going to happen at my pace, which is to say, in spurts and fits.

Of course, it doesn’t help that my vast storehouse of creative writing was lost forever a few months ago. I’m slowly tracking it down, piece by piece, but it’s taking a while. Then I have to organize it, re-edit everything, make quality hard copies so it never happens again, and re-enter everything into the computer. But in the mean time, you only get them as I write them, and I’m about as steady an element as plutonium.

Here’s the current plan: I’m going to try to put something up every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Very likely, that will mean quite a few blogs of the diary type. I those, but everybody else seems to like them, so we’ll probably all be quite happy. If I can’t keep up, I’ll move down to Tuesdays and Thursdays.

On a side note: My school has thought up a very creative way to get people in the dorms to become more acquainted. We have these card-access Laundromats in each dorm. Last year, everybody got a card with a number on the back of it and it was written down in a computer somewhere which number went to what person. Everybody was constantly losing their card. You tell yourself, “Self, I’m going to take the card out as soon as I select my washer.” Then you put your card in the machine, you start the machine, there’s a slight delay, and in that delay you get bored. You decide to go ahead put the clothes in. Then, since you’re already there, you decide to put the soap in and turn on the machine. At this point, you’ve completely forgotten that you didn’t obey your own orders and take the card out immediately after selecting the machine, and you wander off toward your room. Your poor little card is stuck in the machine with a sniffle, saying, “she doesn’t love me.” It’s very sad.

The problem was, when the next person comes and tries to put his card in the slot, there’s already a card there. He takes it out and the only ID on the card is 01148. He has no idea whose card it is. Worse yet, he’s already lost his card in the same manner, but doesn’t realize it until he reaches into his wallet and pulls out… nothing. He then takes the card that was already in the reader, with the thought of, “well somebody already did it to me. This was probably my card in the first place.

Well, we’ve fixed all that now. Now, when you lose your card in the machine, your NAME is written on the back (somebody was brilliant). This means that whoever finds a card left in the reader, now can tell exactly whose card it is, and somehow feels obliged to return it. This is very easy, since everyone’s name is written on their door. We get to meet all kinds of new friends this way. The trick is, only the first name is written on the door. I just found a card named Ashley. There are three Ashleys in my dorm. All of them are at class. I put the card on top of the reader.

Last of all, here’s you a poem:

Who is Master of my sorrows?
Who is Lord of all my grief?
The Same Who is my Savior
The one who delivers me.

Haze of Love

They brought me honey,
but I would not eat it.
Food from the honeycomb,
but I would have none.

How can I eat when my love is gone?
How can I taste pleasure when my heart is so low?

They found me at Ramallah
Wandering in Tesh Gibbeon
Looking for the one I love
Even as I searched, I grew far from you
In my distress, I abandoned you

Come with us, and drown your sorrows
Take pleasure, for love has gone

How can I forget you
Who gave my life to me
How can I turn away
From the one who will come for me

It was not you who abandoned me
But I who lost myself from you
Do not forget the one you love
Rescue me from the haze of love

Your Love is Like Wine

Your love is like wine
Far better than anything I’d find
Your love is more than enough for me
Your love is like wine
Far better than anything I’d find
Your love is all there is to me

I have searched for you
Like a man seeking after treasure
I have searched for you
Like a thirsting man in the desert
All my roads lead back to you

Your love surrounds me
Like the waters surround the earth
Your love surrounds me
Like a mother surrounds her child at birth
All my worlds are found in you

They’re Not Mine

All of my plans have
Worked out against me
And I am not ashamed

Cause they’re not
mine to give
And they’re not
Mine to take
And they’re not
Mine to keep or throw away

All of the answers to
All of my troubles are
&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbspBound up in you

Cause they’re not…
(well, you get the idea).

What have I doing

What have I doing
have gone, have been
Who do I think I am?

Where am I going
have doing, am been
What am I believing in?

Somewhere on the middle road
I found a place of sunshine
air and wind.
No place beneath my falling feet
to satisfy my tumbling sent.

What puzzles me is when I’m falling
Head over heels and back again
That I cannot find a resting place
‘Tween heels and hands and eyes.
Have I stumbled, or can I fly?

Rache

“Now I pass beyond these gates of time.”

Those were the last words of Elizabeth Rachel LeMontre. It was another fifteen minutes before she died, but she didn’t say anything after that. I think she wanted to have famous last words, and those were the best she could think of, so she didn’t say anything after that.

After she stopped breathing, I really wasn’t sure what to do. I had never seen anyone die before. I really wasn’t sure how you could tell. Her eyes were already closed, so I didn’t have to put nickels on them or anything.

“Rache?” I said. “Rache.” I stood up and touched her arm. “Rache?” Continue reading “Rache”

You Awake My Soul

I sought the Lord and He answered me
In the highest heavens
I sought the Lord and He answered me
From His holy hill
I sought the Lord and He answered me
In His sanctuary
I sought the Lord and He answered me
When my heart was still

(And the chorus goes:)
You awake my soul when You answer me
You turn my tears into laughter
You awake my soul when You answer me
And all my sicknesses are healed
You awake my soul when You answer me
You turn my sorrows into dancing
You awake my soul when You answer me
When my heart is still

(Back to the verse:)
I sought the Lord and He answered me
In the midst of all my enemies
I sought the Lord and He answered me
In my valley’s deepest darkness
I sought the Lord and He answered me
At the end of all my options
I sought the Lord and He answered me
When my heart was still