Random Thoughts of Joy

building burdens on our own backs
we groan under distressing weight
till someone comes and takes it from us
we do not know where we have been

Sitting dismayed at the sacrifice
required to enter in
We weep when we do not realize
Someone’s already been

What I must give up
Is what is not good for me
What I must at all costs carry
is the gold I do not recognize

Nothing strains like the burden
of a backward vision
My life would be joy for me
if I could get my world turned right

God grant me grace
to see my own sinning
my problem is not my pain
but my misapprehension

*The whole earth is filled
With the Glory of God*
-Is 6:3

Satisfaction

You do not protect me
From the pain of my life’s troubles
You lead me in the way of danger
That I may cling to You

I cling to You relentlessly
Like a weaned child to its mother
Not pulling, sucking, striving . . .
I am at peace

You are my Peace
When there is every sign of danger
You are my Satisfaction
When Wanting comes my way

I trust in You
My Shepherd-Friend

Trust

You know how I try to be
I wear my heart on the outside of my breast
That anyone who wants can see and criticize it
That any man may wound me
That, as best I can, I may be touched by anyone
That my Father may be pleased

My heart is not my own
To protect as others do
I do not know the way of it
It belongs unto my King
To use as He sees fit

May my meditations yet be pleasing
Unto You

Theometry

Some would say that there are no absolutes, but I say that there are several. And we are fast approaching them. But the Infinite has placed us in an infinite universe, and in an infinte space, an absolute cannot be a place, but has to be a direction. Even a black holes is imagined by most to be a hole that leads to some other place. Absolute zero is defined as the temperature at which no molecular movement is possible, but even 0º Kelvin may not be the lowest temperature, but simply the lowest temperature we can measure. How can we define a temperature where there is less that zero molecular movement, or how can we define a place where all matter and energy go to when they simply cease to exist? If a black hole is a doorway into another universe, then beyond 0º Kelvin is the same door.

Imagine a grid where you draw a line and say, “This is the ultimate West.” Could you not draw a line, one step over, which is even further West? Draw another line, even further West. Where is Absolute in this? Now draw a ray, pointing West, perpendicular to the other lines. Here is your Absolute. And place a little sign: “In this direction lies Infinite West.”

Enter the Celtic knot of Trinity, each end interwoven with the other in a self-subsisting ebb and flow of sacrifice. Each end lives for the other, yet which end is the beginning? Here is a weave that locks your eyes and holds your mind transfixed, drawing you into a sacrificial existence for the One True God. From this perspective, Trinity has no point or focus outside itself. His purpose fulfils His own existence; He is there to be Himself: complete, utterly Whole. But twist the diagram a little and see how Trinity views Himself. You find you’ve been looking from a distance at a cross-section of a thread that goes on forever. A little sign stands by: “In this direction lies Infinite Good.”

What is Holy? He is both the path and the promise. There, just beyond the second bend lies the point you thought you couldn’t quite see beyond. And even though, from this vantage, you can see it, you know you have no measure for the world that lies beyond. Looking just before that point, you seem to hear a voice: “If I am lifted up, I will draw all men unto me.” You are gazing down the certain course into a black hole.

You are drifting in a very lucky place. From where you stand, your course is not yet set. You can choose. You must either head towards that door into the other world, and pass through that point where you must die a kind of death, and every part of you that is not bound for that world will be torn from you and flung as far from you as East is from this very definite West. And beyond that point I cannot imagine. Or, you must run as far from that thread as possible, until you reach that condition which plays “Absolute Zero” to this “Black Hole.” Another kind of door into that same world, where you die a different kind of death and become so frozen that not even the most miniscule change is possible. And beyond that point, again, I cannot imagine.

You have some time, but one thing is certain:

You &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbspMust&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbspChoose.

Response to Wordsworth’s ‘Intimations…’ ode

The evening is longer than the morning
Yet it seems so short
Because we compare it to the rest of day.
At dawn we forget the darkness
Until the grass is dry,
When the waxing turns to wane,
We see it, and remember,
And curse the dying day
Not because we hate twilight
But, “Too soon! Too soon!” we say.
Whether it be summer or midwinter
“Too soon! Too soon!” we always say.

Requited Love

Once upon a time, upon a little hill in the middle of nowhere, stood a little blond-headed girl about the age of thirteen. And although she probably had any number of faults, there was one that stood out terribly to her: She loved. She loved with a terrible fierceness of devotion and passion that at times her whole body shook with the emotion. And perhaps this would not have seemed so terrible except for this one slight inconsistency: She loved, but she did not know who. Continue reading “Requited Love”

Unseen Treasures

The lion looked at me with a gleam in his eye.

“Will you come in?”

He looked like some Egyptian monument; his haunches reached up as much as forty feet; his head was twice as tall as me. Settling down on his belly, he placed his head near the ground before me, and opened wide his mouth.

I thought of every enchanted treasure-house I had ever heard of. Aladdin’s cave, the open tree with the dog guardians with eyes as big as plates and saucers, holes in the ground, and leprechauns. Stable, fixed, every one of them. This creature, though, once I was inside of him, could travel anywhere. He was no stone lion. He was living; I could feel him breathing.

“If I go in, can I come out again?”

“Perhaps.” Continue reading “Unseen Treasures”

Scandalon

Recently, I heard some leaders of other religious faiths remark on a flaw of the Christian religion. It’s the fact that ours is the only religion that insists that there is only one way to get to God: Through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. It seemed to them very obvious that there are many paths to God, and they expressed hope that someday we would grow beyond this defect. I had to laugh. Because this “one defect” is the sole standard of the Christian Faith. If we did not believe that faith in Jesus was the only way to find the hope of salvation, Christianity would melt in a moment. If I believed that there were many ways to God, and all were equally good, why would I chose the hardest, most offensive one? Furthermore, why should I try to make my faith easy for you, when it is so hard for me? Because out of the first concern, these same religious leaders expressed annoyance that so many groups of Christians had set out to convert them. If our religion accepted that there were many ways to God, do you not think we would cease trying to convert everyone in the world? We would let them go. Perhaps they would find an easier, less humiliating path.

I also heard some Christian leaders recently saying how disappointed they were when they saw a Christian conform to the standards of this world, even if their goal was to evangelize. And I have to agree; although originally these leaders where actually referring to a Christian’s style of clothing and color of hair, which I think is inconsequential. Because every style of clothing, or lack thereof, has been claimed by a culture, or subculture somewhere. And every time you put on a piece of clothing or adjust your body in any way, you conform to something somewhere. And in Christ there is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, man or woman, black man or white man, or Protestant or Catholic. We are all one in Christ and look not at the flesh but at the spirit, and the fruits of the spirit. Which brings me back. You conform, not by what clothes you wear, or how many earrings, but when you subvert your nature, so that Christ is not glorified. A for instance: those Christian musicians who, in the church, sing unashamed the gospel to the saved. Then, when they go into the world, they change their name to hide the cross and change their lyrics, encrypting the message of shed blood, “lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and return and be healed.” Sorry guys! The times of blindness and misunderstanding are long since past. Now is the time that we preach, not in parables, but openly, so that all may understand. Yes, this is offensive to many. Yes, people will turn away from an unadulterated gospel, but an erated gospel brings in sons. Jesus himself turned the masses away when he said, “Unless you eat my flesh and drink my blood, you have no life in you.” He gave them a hard saying in order to drive them away, but he did not cease from preaching!

You see, almost 6,000 years ago, God set a precedent: When one man (and in him, all of us) tried to stand separate from God and be holy like God in his own strength, through the knowledge of good and evil, he discovered the lie. Without God you cannot be holy. Instead all he had was the memory of good in the experience of evil. He tried to cover his ness with a lie: someone else did this to me. But he remained exposed. And God had compassion on Man and Woman in the agonies of sin. He knelt down, and with the blood and flesh of animals, he covered them. And since then it has been understood: without shed blood there is no remission of sins. The stain remains and remains and remains. There is no atonement without blood, there is no circumcision without blood. No temple article may be made holy without the sprinkling of blood.

And God prophesied: there will come a seed of woman to crush the source of lies at its head, and that serpent, turned dragon black, would bruise the heel of man. And that “seed of woman” relates that this man would not come down the normal way. And that crushed head says that on this move, the sin would be permanently destroyed. And that bruised heel implies that even as the serpent’s venom seeps into the blood, into the very heart, until you die, so also the weight of sin would infiltrate the son of man, killing him. But that the heel is only bruised tells that though the son of man may die, the serpent’s death is the only permanent one. For a bruise will go away. And even as Christ rose again, so we too will be free from sin, if we continue looking to the wounding in his heels.

And again, God said, if you acknowledge him, he directs your path. So we acknowledge by looking to the footprints of the man who leaves bruises in the sand. God directs us: we follow his son’s path. And in the book of numbers Moses lifted up a brazen serpent on a pole. When Israel looked up, both bite and bitterness were gone. So also, when we remember another serpent’s suffering symbol on another kind of pole, both the sickness and the sin are gone. We can be both physically and spiritually whole.

But why all the signs and symbols? What’s the point of precedent? So that in the here and now we could look at words with awe and wonder? No, a simple point of law on the order of the universe: When the law is broken, a debt must be paid. If you throw a rock in the air, it will come down again. It has to. It’s the law. Unless you throw it high enough, and it manages to get outside our planet’s pull. Then suddenly, its bound by higher laws. If, one year, you suddenly decided not to pay your taxes, does the government say, “Aw, we understand. That’s okay.”? No! Your taxes must be paid! They will bind up your property and freeze up all your accounts. And I say to you, you will by no means be free until you have paid every penny back. Plus interest, multiplied and compounded. So also: “without the shedding of blood, there is no remission of sins.” But for nearly 2,000 years, there has been no shedding of blood for remission of sins. The temple was destroyed to the stone in 70 AD. And since that time, not a single drop has been shed on any brazen altar. There isn’t any brazen altar! There isn’t any mirrored laver. The Ark of the Covenant cannot be found. Most likely it was melted down. But it seems that only the Christian is concerned how God will judge his sins. Only the Christian seems to realize that no amount of good deeds will scrub away even one sin. We stand utterly condemned!

Technically, though, even that bronze altar and the Ark of the Covenant weren’t good enough. The sin offering was offered morning and night. The sins of the people were carried away on the scapegoat but once a year. But a sacrifice for my kind of sinning would have to be constant, or eternal. James says that if you have broken even one law, you might as well have broken every one, for you have condemned yourself as a lawbreaker. And the judgment is the same for one or many. For a person who breaks a law has broken the whole law, even as a person who quotes a line of poetry invokes the whole poem, or even the author, and every poem he’s written. They are all tied together, and if one string is broken, the whole weave of life unravels. Some Christians, in times past, understanding this, established among themselves proper ways and times of repentance, and believed that if they died between these times, then the sins that they had committed would be on their own heads, and they themselves would have to pay. Of course, they didn’t understand that, if this was true, then the payment they would have to make would be the true kind of payment, the kind you cannot earn with good deeds, but cannot be freed from till every penny has been paid. Nevertheless, it is true: if I die and my every sin has not been counted washed away, then I stand, breaker of all, condemned. The blood of sheep and goats is simply not enough. I need the blood of something greater to stand between me and my sin.

Remember that rock you threw into the air? If only you could get it high enough, it would stay there. All you need is someone strong enough to throw it high enough, until a higher law takes precedence. On all scores, impossible, so far as throwing goes. But C.S. Lewis puts it this way: “There is a magic deeper still. . .when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead the table would crack and death itself would start working backwards.” That’s what Jesus’ cross was. His life was the only one that was strong enough to throw our rock of sin far enough from the earth. The sacrifice on the cross was good enough to start death running backwards. A deeper magic, a higher law takes precedence. And when it does, the stone tables that Moses brought down will crack. And all the law is made of no effect, for it is overtaken by a higher law, called grace, empowered by faith in one man’s suffering. It’s not that the law is no longer there, but it is contained as a small, minute aspect of the greater law. The rigor of those ten lines of arbitration is seen within the steady flow of two rivers: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your strength, all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. And they flow onward . . . Love God even with the strength you do not have. Love your neighbor as more important than yourself . . . A never-ending well.

At the end of the river, it becomes not a commandment, but a compulsion. I must preach the gospel. Not because I have to, but because I need to. I cannot contain it. There is an inward yearning inside all of us to leave off these earthen tracks. To reach for the stars until we become no longer planetbound. In the natural sense, we have achieved the ability to leave the atmosphere. We’ve gone as far as the moon. But no one lifetime, in any way we can design it, will ever be long enough to start here, and end up living among the stars. And even then, no technology imaginable will ever take us to that place we all know is real, the place beyond the stars. The other world. God has said it: “Even as the heavens are above the earth, so my ways are above your ways.” I guess, if we are still straining to be holy on our own strength, these could be discouraging words. But to us who are being saved, it is the power of God. Now we know the way: One man can take us there. One man can show us the way and direct our path. We need this man in absoluteness. He is the only one. We need the man from Galilee.

First Lesson

 

“Here. Hold your hands like this: in a cupped position. Look into them. Now, what do you see?”

“I see my hands.”

“Look closer. What do you see?”

“I see . . . Fingers. Skin. Nails . . .”

“Look closer. What do you see?”

“I see . . . Lines. Crisscrossing lines and cracks . . .”

“Stop. Close your eyes. Open your heart. Now. What do you see?” Continue reading “First Lesson”

Would You Believe?

Would you believe to know me
That once I was lost
Would you believe to know me
That I gave up everything
At the foot of the cross

Would you believe to know me
That once I was the blackest sinner
Stained with every crime
Would you believe to know me
That Jesus saved my life

I was destitute and hopeless
Waiting for the end
I was crouching in my pain and turmoil
Longing for a friend
And as I sat there hopeless
Clinging to my shame and guilt
I saw a promise rising – Risked everything to grab it –
And now I stand here broken
Would you believe to know me
That I could live?