Paperwork – Enlisting in the Army pt. 2

First came the paperwork – and this is tricky. We were taken into a classroom, handed a stack of papers and told to fill in the blanks on everything that had ever happened to us. Officially the armed services only accept recruits who are in perfect health with no criminal record. Or at least, it seems that way. At the very least, they want to know about everything that might be a problem, and there is no statute of limitations. If you’ve ever had surgery, a childhood illness, or a speeding ticket, they want to know about it. If it’s no big deal (and they’ll decide), then they’ve got a waiver for it. Except for asthma. There is no waiver for asthma. At least, I think there isn’t. There might be one if you haven’t had it since you were 13. I wasn’t very clear.

And this is the part that was probably the most frustrating, and not because it was every bit as tedius as it sounds. The problem is that I had been prepped for this. Before I had left for the hotel, the recruiters gave me a little pep talk. You see, the military is full of acronyms, and the two acronyms that are most significant at the MEPS are NO and YES. NO stands for ‘Numerous Opportunities’, and YES stands for ‘Your Enlistment Stops.’ Because, of course, if anything weird shows up on your paperwork, everything freezes until it’s fixed.

So I was told specifically not to lie, but that there is a certain threshold below which information wasn’t beneficial to anybody. For instance, (as I read in a book on enlisting), if there isn’t any medical record of the event, as far as anybody is concerned, it didn’t actually happen. That time I fell down and bruised my tail bone and my mom refused to take me to the hospital even though I couldn’t sit up straight for weeks? Didn’t happen. In fact, as far as the military is concerned, I don’t think I have a record. I’ve been to the doctor 3 times since I was 10. Nevertheless, guidelines like that are hardly ever clear, and it was some cause for anxiety. I kept hearing people called up and asked, “why did you lie about the foot surgery you had two years ago?” Lying is frowned on in the military.

We were told all of us to put down if we had had chicken pox, and the treatment we received for it, so I guess there’s a waiver for that.

Early-afternoon Links?

I’m late this morning. David had a doctor’s appointment this morning at 8:45 for a case of RSV, which is actually something like a really, really bad cold. So bad that it causes pneumonia. An 8:45 appointment means seeing the LPN at around 10:00, which is to say we got home at around noon. As an added bonus, the doctor’s office and the pharmacy are having a little disagreement about whether our insurance will pay for David’s breathing treatment. Fortunately, a moderate case of pneumonia is as nothing to basic asthma, so I’m unimpressed with his pressing need for expensive asthma medication.

But links:

  1. Confusing “unfettered capitalism” with mercantilism.
  2. Billy Graham at Harvard. Unfortunately, in RealMedia format.
  3. Obama and his teleprompter. I thought it was safety glass.
  4. Apparent proof that Obama is not an idiot. Though it leaves the other option (either stupid or…).
  5. Often, good politicians lie. Adroit politicians lie often.
  6. It looks, however, like Obama is really starting to feel the weight of the presidency. Or at least, the press is beginning to feel something.
  7. Scripophily – like collecting stamps!
  8. An excellent quote by the former president of my seminary, especially when applied to 1 Corinthians 12.
  9. Divine Vinyl – Brace yourself.
  10. Well it ought to be.
  11. Two words – Central Planning.
  12. The complications of being a senator and an OBGYN.
  13. Barry Manilow – not a weapon? (H/T: Dan Phillips)
  14. Also via Mr. Phillips: Letters to the editor re: Galatians.
  15. Just don’t get it. “Don’t waste your sports” is only slightly more confusing than “don’t waste your jigsaw puzzles.”
  16. Proper use of capital and lowercase numbers – which is why I now type everything in the Georgia font, if I possibly can.
  17. Also: spacing between sentences. So hard to unlearn!
  18. Barak Carter? Jimmy Obama?
  19. Logic!
  20. Watchmen, a review. Any movie rendition without the pirate comic would be a certain improvement, but even then, this movie is rated R, for the same reason the Passion was rated R, with the exception that the Passion is about the gospel, while Watchmen sort of wants to be, but isn’t. Well, they got sin right, anyway.
  21. Flash fiction. (Officially creepy.)
  22. Love makes for great photography. Because there’s no way that those bowls are intrinsically beautiful.
  23. Taking up slack. As soon as I get done taking care of my perpetually sick kid, I’ve got a list of certifications to work on while I look for new work. Oh, and I’m writing again.
  24. Worse than poverty? Yes.
  25. Ha! Something about a historical “living document” which claims a triumph of orthodox theology over heretics just sticks funny with me. Are we talking orthodox or Orthodox, here? The “living document” thing is why I’m inclined to mistrust the Textus Receptus over against modern critical versions of the Bible. The Textus Receptus was preserved by the Orthodox, and they have this thing for preserving “the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints” in “living documents.”
  26. Professors tend to be liberals. Who knew?
  27. Continuing a classic trend in American prison systems.
  28. Bankruptcy, as seen through a cheap gass grill
  29. Against children’s church.
  30. Might be useful.
  31. Fleeting temptation. Just… wow.
  32. On the other hand, an interesting paradigm for avoiding it, though lacking in detail
  33. Confusing Sam with John.
  34. A different Sam. Check the quip quotes at the end.
  35. Don’t lose the keys! Rather the Protestant position, I should think:

    Some poor prelate forgot to pass them to his heir,
    but when Martin Luther found them,
    il Papa claimed they weren’t there.

    Well, he claimed that those keys weren’t the keys, anyway.

  36. On the health care debate. There’s a gap in these arguments that I could put my finger on, if I took the time to find it.
  37. In which “woo-woo” is exemplified.
  38. A new approach to scripture memory. This actually works. I can still remember the titles of books I never read as a child, because they were on my bookshelf and I looked at the binding every day.