Accidental Immodesty

Generally, I’ve stayed away from women’s blogs, because it’s not an arena that I feel approved to speak on. I was going to say competent, but really, I’m more concerned about offending people with my Y chromosome. But the current wave in Christian weblogging seems to be all about women. At least, I haven’t seen anything new in pastor’s blogs something like a year.

My friend Tara O’Rourke (no relation to Howard), recommended Women Living Well, and I ran across this very helpful post on modesty.

I think it’s a very helpful intro, both on how to think about modesty, and how to approach the issue with someone else. Unfortunately, too many people think they’re already, erm, covered, in this area.

What’s awkward for me is how to approach immodesty in a young lady as a married man. Somehow, while in most conservative Christian circles it’s considered inappropriate to wear clothes that are too revealing, it’s even more inappropriate for a man to make mention of what’s being advertised.

For a while I worked in a warehouse environment as a manager with a mostly all-female staff. For a week or so, we had a volunteer come who wasn’t used to thinking about what she was showing off while lifting heavy objects. In that situation, I was able to grab one of my team leaders and ask her to say something to her. A 40 year old woman can talk to a 20 year old woman about modesty a lot better than a 30 year old man.

In a church, though, where I’m not in any official position, it’s not as easy to use those degrees of separation. But accidental immodesty still happens. Is my only good response supposed to be to keep my eyes up and my mouth shut?

Degrees, or something

I’m not sure which is more fascinating:

  1. Hans Zimmer did Prince of Egypt and Gladiator.
  2. Stephen Schwartz did Godspell, and also Prince of Egypt.

    3. This may, of course, be merely a function of my lack of knowledge in the world of film music. As long as neither one of them were involved in The Point, I think I’ll be all right.

New favorite love song

I’ve been looking for a song to sing that doesn’t talk about my girl’s brown eyes. I think I found one:

When the last sole flicker of the sun goes down
And they turn the lights on all over town
That’s when you see me walkin’ Broad and Main
I’m gonna see my sugar coated baby

Chorus:
I’m just like a kitten, playin’ with a string
When I’m a-holdin’ that pretty little thing
She’s as sweet as honey all the way around
And she’s sugar coated all the way down

Well I’m drownin’ myself in her eyes of blue
‘Cause each and every kiss is just like brand new
I bet when you find me I’ll be nestled in her arms
Havin’ myself a-lost a week in her charms

Well her love I get for nothing, it don’t come on the cuff
It comes from her heart and I never get enough
She kisses me it’s like a drink of wine
It warms me all over just to know that she’s mine

Prove me wrong

  • At 6:30, Ethan climbed into bed with us and wouldn’t go back to sleep.
  • At around 6:45, I got up and set him up watching Speed Racer.
  • At around 6:50, Timothy woke up and started walking on his mother’s head. I picked him up and tried to set him up in the playroom. No go. I tried to hold him while surfing Facebook. No go.
  • Around 7:00, I realized he was hungry, so I set him up at the table with a bowl of goldfish crackers and some water.
  • Around 7:05, Ethan came out asking for breakfast, so I pulled out cereal and set him up with a bowl of fruit loops and a cup of milk. At which point, Timothy complained about his lack of milk.

Suddenly, I realized that Timothy needed breakfast and not a snack. So I got him a cup of milk, and added the rest of the fruit loops to the goldfish.

Now, it is my contention that there is no reason to believe that fruit loops is in any way a healthier or more appropriate breakfast food than goldfish.

Introspection

It’s what I do best:

It’s really disconcerting for me when I say something funny and people actually laugh. It feels like I’m being singled out and made much of for just speaking my mind. In my family growing up, ironic wit was just how people talked. It feels really bald and unguarded to say something straight out, so that’s something I would normally only reserve for lecturing or careful argument. Normal conversation is made gentle by layered meaning and ironic inversion.

So, growing up, if you said something terribly clever, you might get a nice chuckle. Scaling down from there, the next level might be a funny face. Otherwise, pleasant conversation consists entirely of wit, irony, and anecdote, sprinkled liberally with quick analytical jabs. Poor shots, of course, merit an eye roll. And then we go on.

Quote of the Day

The point of the ministry is not to change people – it’s not my job. The point is to provide safety, to provide an environment where they feel safe to bring it up if they choose. I’m not saying that people should never fear hell. I am saying that it is not what leads to true repentance. Scripture is clear that it is the kindness of God (not his severity) that leads to repentance. Relationship begins with love.

-Meagan Ferguson